Back in Tennessee on a green bike
with Trap and Tierra
thinking: if I don’t do it now, I never will
and counting the turns
as I pedal up the hill

Peering into the black hole where a soul should be,
missing mystery terribly
and wondering how to shift the trajectory

Long nights left me short on sleep
and praying to nonexistent entities,
with the rustles at the window
sounding more like God to me

Father, did I do worse in a past life
or is this retribution for the last time?

Send just one sign
for a lost mind
as I walk these landmines.

Or give some absolution
for all the hours spent awake,
rotten choices
coupled with terrible mistakes
and terrible shame

with only myself to blame

giving everything
to people who simply
take,
take,
take